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Who Chooses Who?
Those wiccan and pagans that belong to covens
usually have their totem animal(s) chosen either by their mentors or by
themselves in a vision quest. The coven might have a totem animal too that only
the members of the coven know about. However, this does not mean solitary
practicioners cannot have totem animal(s). Solitaires choose their own totem
animals.
Sometimes it happens that your totem animal chooses you. There are many reasons
why your totem animal picks you. Maybe you need help at a given period of your
life. Your totem animal shows up to lend you help, counsel, and support.
About three years ago, on a very hot summer night, I met my very first totem
animal. During that summer my life was a living hell. My parents were going
through rough times and on the verge of divorce. As for me, I was battling my
own demons (figuratively speaking). I could not sleep well at night. Every day I
was sinking more and more becoming very depressed. Yet I knew I did not want to
take any medications. So I began reading a few books on yoga, and I had even
watched a few videos on the topic. Finally one night I was so depressed and
afraid of suffering a panic attack that I decided to try one of those simple but
relaxing yoga exercises. I went to my room, closed the door behind me, laid on
the floor, and started breathing in and out slowly. I had managed to relax quite
a bit when suddenly I sensed there was "something" in front of me. Only three
people live in my house; my parents and me. I could hear them chatting on the
porch, so I knew it was not one of them. My dog was lying beside me for I could
"see" him on his bed. I knew there was "something" else in the room for sure
now. I kept doing the breathing exercise while trying to ignore whatever else
was in front of me. Slowly it began to grow in power and took the shape of big
grey wolf. It stood there looking at me for a long time. After a while it walked
toward me until it was standing on top of me. It lowered its head until its cold
nose touched mine. It felt like its eyes where looking into mine although mine
were closed. Finally it lowered its body until it "melted" with mine. I counted
from one to ten backwards and opened my eyes. To my surprised, I felt a sense of
inner peace for the first time in two months since my world had begun to
collapse.
Of course, I did not know anything about totem animals back then. I wrote the
whole event as detailed as possible on a sheet of paper and posted the whole
story in a wiccan/pagan forum the very next day. LadyHawke (her handle in
ISCABBS) was one of the few people who answered my post. She told me that the
Wolf spirit had visited me. Thanks to her help, I learned to communicate with my
Wolf spirit. The Wolf spirit guided me through those difficult times.
Keep your eyes open for those animals that appear frequently on your path or
under unusual circumstances. If you see a raven perched on a tree on your
backyard every day, maybe it is more than pure coincidence.
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